By Andy, founder
Plenty of us live in Cumbria because of the space: the fells, the quiet lanes, the dark skies at night. But when you're single, that same space can make meeting someone feel like hard work. The nearest town might be half an hour away, the faces in the local pub haven't changed in years, and everyone seems to know everyone's business. I hear this a lot from people who join Go Cumbria Dating, so here are a few practical thoughts on making rural dating work for you.
Widen your circle a little
In a city, someone suitable might live round the corner. Out here, they might be over the next fell. It's worth being a bit more generous with distance than you'd first think.
- Think in journey times, not miles. Twenty miles on a main road can be quicker than ten over a pass.
- Look at the towns you already visit. If you're in Penrith, Kendal or Cockermouth for the shopping anyway, a coffee is easy to fit in.
- See who's around. Our Near Me pages show members around each part of Cumbria, which gives you a feel for who's nearby.
Meet in the middle
Meeting halfway is fair and keeps things light. Nobody has to make a long drive alone, and nobody has to show the other where they live before they're ready. Market towns work well for this, whether that's Ulverston, Keswick, Appleby or Brampton. Pick a café or pub that's busy enough to feel relaxed, and if it's going well, a short stroll afterwards is easy to add. Our first date ideas in Cumbria have plenty more inspiration.
Keep your privacy in a small community
When you live somewhere small, it's natural to worry about the neighbours finding out you're dating. On Go Cumbria Dating your profile shows only your nearest town or city, never your exact address, and your real name and email aren't shown publicly. A few habits help too:
- Use a recent photo, but not one taken outside your house or with your number plate showing.
- Keep the name of your village or farm to yourself until you've met and feel comfortable.
- Make your own way to and from the date, so nobody needs to collect you from home.
- Tell a friend where you're going and when you expect to be back.
There's more in our guide to dating safely.
Plan around the roads and the weather
Rural dating comes with its own logistics, and with autumn here and winter on its way, a little planning goes a long way.
- Daytime dates are easier. Lunch or an afternoon coffee means nobody is driving home on dark, unlit lanes.
- Check the forecast and the roads. Passes like Kirkstone and Hardknott can be tricky in bad weather, so choose a route you're both happy with.
- Have a plan B. If the weather turns, a quick message to rearrange is far better than a risky drive. Anyone worth meeting will understand.
- Mind the signal. Some valleys have very little, so agree the time and place before you set off.
Chat first, then meet
When the drive is longer, it makes sense to get to know someone a little before you meet. A few good conversations, and perhaps a phone call, help you both decide whether the journey is worth it. Just don't let it drift on for months...a cup of tea together usually tells you more than a hundred messages. And if someone pushes to move the chat off the site very quickly, slow down. It's a common scam tactic, and the site will warn you when it spots it.
Be patient and stay open
Our members are spread right across the county, from the Solway coast to the Eden Valley and down to Furness, so your daily match suggestions may include people a little further afield than you're used to. That's no bad thing. Some of the nicest connections come from someone you'd never have bumped into locally. Keep your profile up to date, and if you love life out in the hills, say so. Plenty of people here feel exactly the same.
Living rurally doesn't mean you have to stay single. It just means doing things a little differently, and at your own pace.
- rural
- advice
- cumbria
